a misunderstanding

i apologize for taking things too personally and often times not thinking about the words spoken before i get overly defensive and say the wrong things.  but this is just how my mind, the twisted unnatural mess that it is, works and relieves itself i suppose.  yep, that's it.. my mind taking a shit -- and it's a natural occurance for me.  so with that being said, along with my apologies and so forth, i hope you can take a moment to understand that it's not my intention to degrade you, hurt you, or make you feel bad -- my intentions are always great.  but shit happens.  especially with me, the girl who's mind can't cut off -- never at ease -- a constant turnover.  believe me, if i could make it stop i would.  i've tried, taken time and spent years trying -- it doesn't work.  it's just me.  love me, hate me, i'm me and i'm glad to be -- my sincerest apologies for thinking you were finally the one who could understand and deal with me.  you probably are, but this time consuming phase is heartbreaking to me.

with certainty

looking from the outside.. i'm just a girl with a smile, a crazy unique style and a special connection to the earth and all of its creatures.  looking from the inside... i'm over sensitive to words, i feel things too thoroughly and too purely, and my mind is a scattered mess.  some things never change.  inevitably though, i'm in love with myself.  and it's the greatest thing in the world.

it's true

i feel you all around me, but my mind is blank.  all i know is that i love you so.. and that everything falls into place  the way that it should.  you amaze me, astound me, take me back to a place where i was happy and loving and carefree, and leave me with an understanding of what life is supposed to be like.  forever grateful to you, my love  my heart my soul.. i look forward to spending the rest of my life showing you my appreciation.  you are amazing in every way & my love is yours (only yours) til my dying day.